You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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