My hand turned me down
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Randomize
