Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
