I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
