Whats the glycemic index on semen?
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
