He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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