I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
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