honey bunches of taint.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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