I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
