I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
