She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
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