Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
