Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Randomize
