Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
