I bet he comes in French.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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