I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
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