I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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