Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Randomize
