Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
