She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
