they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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