Pants 0. Shit 1.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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