Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
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