Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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