I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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