do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
