big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
