Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
