i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
