Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
