Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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