She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Randomize
