what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
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