ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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