did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Randomize
