JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
My ass is underappreciated
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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