Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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