AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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