fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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