so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
