In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
