I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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