Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
