One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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