He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
