GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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