Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
