im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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