i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
this hospital has no fireball
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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