Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
